In Control Of My Uncontrollable Body - Life With Cerebral Palsy

Since I was a little girl, I've had a four-legged, furry companion in my life.  I have adored dogs and their incredible abilities from a very young age.  They're very intriguing to me and when I was in middle school, I decided that I wanted to make them my career someday.  Breeding, training, and working with these highly intelligent animals.  The furry, fluffy, tail wagger that happily greets you with a wet kiss when you arrive home, bringing a toy to you cause they want to play with you, or cuddling up with you as your comforter and protector. Dogs serve a different purpose to me and I'm certain they know this cause it's been proven over and over again.  Being non-verbal has its major downfalls, especially trying to communicate with people.  Having a conversation with a loved one is very difficult unless they're around me a lot, so communicating with friends, co-workers, or strangers is nearly impossible without the assistance of technolo...

As I was rolling into power soccer practice the other night, a young boy on a basketball team, probably middle school age, locked his eyes on me right when the sliding doors opened.  I tried to mind my own business and kept looking straight ahead, thinking he'd stop.  I grew irritated and annoyed as I knew he was still staring at me, I saw him out of the corner of my eye.  I thought to myself, "who raised you?  Don't you know it's not polite to stare?  Stop it."  I know everyone is curious as to how I drive my power wheelchair since I can't use my hands.  I also thought, "you're at a place for disabled children and adults, what do you except?"  I started to take the easy way out and convinced myself that, "he's just a kid and doesn't know. "    As I passed him, I gave him a fake smile, as if I wasn’t irritated at all.  He kept staring then hurried off.  I couldn't believe I did that.  No one saw it but God ...

I truly believe God gave me CP for many reasons.  I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I didn’t have this condition and I know I wouldn’t be as nearly close to God.  I have always tried to look at CP as a blessing rather than a burden.  I know we all have rough days; your coffee spills, you get stuck in traffic, your phone dies before you get home.  My rough days are “different”, simpler yet not understood by most people.  My rough days are when I can’t get my arms to stay still for a second, when my neck spazzes and I can’t speak a word, when my head won’t stop moving  so I can focus on reading something, and when my fingers cut themselves out of nowhere.  I make the most out of every day, especially the rough ones.  I can’t get myself dressed, I can’t feed myself, I can’t go the bathroom by myself.  I would not change anything in my life; it’s pretty great to me. I have people who care for me, a power chair acting as my legs and I serve a...

     As Fall comes to a fast halt and old man winter rears it's head, we all seem slightly depressed.  We put away our yard decorations and put up snow fences and Christmas lights.  The holidays are coming, every store stocked full of everything needed for the holidays.  As we approach Thanksgiving, most people start to be more generous.  This happens at this time every year, I still can't pinpoint exactly why this is.       After marrying my husband last September, we were out to dinner on our honeymoon.  It was a small town local buffet with a gift shop,  As we waited to be seated, they announced that we were newlyweds.  We browsed the gift shop for a keepsake and started getting congratulations and wise words by a few older couples.  Our name was called and we ordered our meals, which were delicious!  We talked for a bit after eating, waiting for our bill.  We kept talking, enjoying every minute as we wa...

Sorry for not blogging for almost 2 years.  I have had a lot of events happen in my life, good and bad. I might blog about some of those things at a later time.  I want to start blogging again because I feel like my posts are well liked and I love to get me opinions out there.  So, with that said...I'll start with this one because it's fitting and I'm passionate about it.     Since Easter is tomorrow, I thought this would be a great topic to touch on.  I have had personal experience and have heard many people with disabilities and their families say the same thing.  Same thing along lines of, "We just didn't feel welcomed in church anymore.  People would stare at our child when they made noises during the sermon, when everyone was supposed to be silent.  When my child clapped to the songs or when we gave them a toy to try to keep them as quiet and less annoying as we could, we would get starred at."        Families al...

     Social media, iPhone's iPad's, Kindle's, cell phones, video games, and laptops/PC's, technology has taken over our lives.  I don't need to go into detail but I will because it's worth it.  I bet you own 2 or more of these devices...I know I do.  Technology has really grown in the past 5-10 years, making our lives easier.  With about everything at our fingertips, why wouldn't you want that?  From shopping online to online dating you can do almost anything on the web.  In 2012, 45% of car wrecks involved a driver texting while behind the wheel.  It makes me sick when I see someone texting while driving...equal to driving under the influence. Please leave your cell phone in you purse or pocket while driving, if you need to text pull off of the road.  On average 80% of Americans spend 5 or more hours on the web and send 75 text messages per day.  Sound a bit over the top?  Think about it, do you spend that much time surfi...

Sorry guys, I've been so been this past month and haven't had time to post anything.  It's been insane, hope you forgive me I'll try to post more often.     I landed a part time office job at end of April, the beginning of May.  I absolutely love it and could not be more blessed to have this amazing opportunity fall in my lap!  My co-workers are great and have adapted well to me being in the office.  They say they learn more from me than they learn from the job.  Hopefully I'm there awhile as it's close to home and it's nice to get a paycheck.     I have been trying to balance this job, my shelf employed job, my schoolwork, soccer...don't forget family and friends too.  It's been a learning process but I'm finally getting the hang of it.     As the school year comes to an end, I'm still working on my AP courses through IU until hopefully this fall.  I'll graduate with an AP diploma.  I'm going to college...

     That phrase can mean different to everyone and I will be the last one to judge you.  What's the power of love?  How would you explain it?  Would you use the Bible or use today's society?  Everyone has their own opinion, they could be right, they could be wrong.  If a stranger came up to you asking; what's the power of love, would you answer them or walk away because it's the easy way out.      Love, itself is a very powerful word.  It can mean many different thing considering the situation.  Love can mean forever, eternal, long-lasting, true.  There's always a battle of how you define love.  Maybe your love is your car, your pet, your child, your spouse.  I'm guessing I nailed down at least one for you.        The power of love doesn't come magically by just loving someone or something.  The power of love comes from God, through His Word, through His servants. ...

      March is a pretty good month of the year if you ask me.  It's the month in which winter ends; no more sliding off sidewalks, wet tires unable to grip anything, and no more snow tracks that cover the floors everywhere I roll.  It's also the month when college basketball goes through the roof.  March Madness, the craziest sporting event on TV, besides the Olypics!  I love college basketball, I grew up watching younger brother play on a local basketball team for years.  I'm a huge Hoosier fan, you can say whatever you want!       It's a time where I can be like all of the other insane college basketball fans.  I feel like I fit in somewhat.  Whether it's yelling at the refs due to a bad call, screaming at the players, being all decked out in the team colors, or cheering because the team just won and are getting tons of high fives from strangers.  When I'm out at the grocery store or a restaurant...

      You have heard that saying a thousand times...right?  I will assume you have because about 87% of American households have at least one four-legged, furry pup.  Most people treat them as part of their family, such as buying them clothes, giving them lots of toys, letting them sleep with you, or cooking them a dish of food.  Some dogs must think their "human" with all of the love, care, and affection they get!  Many of us have a lot on our plate and sadly put the dog(s) last or close to last.  No matter the size, shape, color, gender, or type most of us love our dog(s).   But when you ask someone that's disabled what they think of their dog, you may get a whole different viewpoint.        Whether it was a injury at birth, born with a disability, hurt in a car wreck, or physical or mentally injured on the battle field, we all probably have close to the same description for our dog.  My loving companion who takes...

       As you all probably know, today's the first day of Spring.  That word, Spring, just puts the biggest smile on my face as it does to many others this time of the year.  It's almost like we have made it through another Winter; which is true.  This morning my mom got me up and then went off to work like normal.  I usually start working on my schoolwork as she leaves...but not today.  I went into my bedroom with my dog following behind me and stopped and stared out of my window.  I noticed that the glass was warm so I opened it.  As I opened my window a warm, smooth, calm, Spring-like breeze was coming in and brushing across my sleepless face.  The sun was just peeking over the woods and made the sky look as if it were a painting. By now my dog was on my bed wanting to get on my lap.  As she jumped onto my lap I went back to the graceful breeze and she laid on my lap as her nose smelled so many scents.  Th...

I applied for this grant for funding for college courses and driving adaptions.  Winning the grant didn't even seem in my reach...until I was told I did!  Here's my essay I wrote...enjoy! Has someone ever told you that you just aren’t good enough?  That you will probably never meet their expectations?   I have been told that a lot all my life.  It brings you down and it might break your heart sometimes; but I’ve always had the strength to move on and prove them wrong.  I’m a senior in high school at Indiana University, looking to pursue a degree in web development and design at a local college.  I also want to drive on my own and start a business for disabled people to help them get the education they need and deserve.  I know I can achieve all of those goals with my passion, my determination and the help of this grant.  High school has been a tough road for me, at the end of my freshman year I dropped out of my public school corpor...

     Have you ever caught yourself asking that?  At your desk with a pile of bills in front of you?  At the kitchen table as you notice your plate is almost empty, but you know you can eat a little more?   At the grocery store when your cart is overflowing with unnecessary items?  In your car as you're pushing the speed limit hoping no police are around?   At a gas station while you watch your money you worked hard for is quickly slipping away?      So, how much is too much?  We seem to be asking that question more and more.  We are all stressed out and tired and just want to go home, lay back in our favorite chair and do what we love.  Maybe it's catching up on your TV show, watching movies, surfing the web, drawing, reading, knitting, writing, or just taking a nap.   We go to work or school all day and would just want to relax but we might have to run the kids around, do some errands, ...

    If you're disabled, the title tells it all.  Have you ever been stared at for periods of time?  Have you been called a "freak" behind your back?   Have you ever thought you were the center of attention, in a bad way?  When children ask, "what happen to him/her?"  Do the parent just take their arms and walk away as you can hear nothing but false they tell their kids?  I'm guessing you have experienced many, many of these situations, way too often.     Kids are very curious and want to know more about something that intrigues them.  A wheelchair isn't what you see on a regular basis, none the less a power wheelchair moving by itself...?  Kids and people are very confused when they see me.  They stare and look the chair over until they figure out how I operate my chair, and yet some just ignore me as much as they can.  Some responses are different then others and everyone has their own opinion.  I use...

    It was an ordinary, hot, summer day.  School was out, our pool was open, took four-wheeler rides at night, grilled burgers, laid in the hammock for hours on end, practiced soccer in the barn, roosted hot dogs and marshmallows on the bond fire, and walked my dog every evening.  These are what my summers are like; close to perfect, I would have to say yes!  Today, God put life in perspective as near tragedy struck.      At the time, I had a Black Labrador named A.J.  We found him in the newspaper in the animal shelter section.  We went up to town to see him and all seven of his brothers and sisters.  I remember going inside and they all ran away to the far corner.  They were terrified of my power chair.  They were about nine weeks old and pretty good sized, very adorable, and chubby!  As the lady talked and told us more about them and how they were found in a trash can, I kept looking at their a...

     During the winter, I get what they call the "winter blues."  Each winter morning I have to pry myself out of my warm, cozy bed.  I know in my mind I need to get up, but I really don't have the urge to.  As I lay on my bed and my mom dresses me, I look outside at the snow, gloomy grey skies, and trees that are blowing in the cold wind.  I just want to roll back over and go back to sleep, especially the nights when I'm up most of the night.      Today was different.  I was still tired but as I woke up, I was greeted by the sunshine shining in on me.  As I slowly roll on to my back, I looked out with my eyes squinted as the sun is hitting me right in the face and saw green grass and blue skies.  Instantly I felt a smile brewing, a hint of excitement and I thanked God for this much needed sunshine.  It almost was like it was just for me, almost like He knew I needed sunshine.  My mom came in to d...

I know what you are probably thinking right now as you start to read this.  You're probably thinking you have better things you could be doing than to sit here and read this brief story about a disabled person.  For example watching TV, listening to your Ipod, reading your favorite book, being outside, playing with your pets or spending time with your family and friends.  Am I right?  Or are you wrong?  Think about that just for a second.         I'll give you a brief summary of what Cerebral Palsy is.  Cerebral Palsy, also known as CP, effects the body's nervous system.  CP also effects muscle control, like standing still - is difficult.   It can make fine-motor skills very hard to do.  For example: eating, talking, bathing, toileting, learning, picking things up and moving parts of the body.  There are three types of Cerebral Palsy: spastic Cerebral Palsy- causes stiffness and movement difficulties.  Athetoid...